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Updated: Mar 8, 2023

This exists for both transparency and comedic relief, because I've been keeping this list in my notes app for literal years. You might think that some of these I might need to just "get over," but you know what? They're MY pet peeves not yours, so go write your own list or else I'll add you to mine. Ok, break:

1. When people take their underwear off with their pants, and leave it inside their pants in their laundry basket. Like why? Do you not separate them to wash? It just seems so unhinged.

2. Acrylic pours. I can't emphasize this enough, and I see too many of them everywhere I go. It's one thing to have an art practice, and do pours on the side--because I get wanting to throw your curated work aside and spread paint around on a canvas in frustration. But as an entire art practice in itself? No. I'll leave it at this: Wii Sports are to Athletes as Acrylic Pours are to Artists.

3. Unedited/barely edited professional photographs. Like ok zero effort pop off. iPhone photos are a diff convo, but homie u got a $2k camera? And you don't even know how to color grade correctly? That's just embarrassing.

4. White mocha syrup. It tastes fine I suppose, but the idea of it and obsession with it is nauseating. It’s just chocolate but stickier. My mind is utterly frustrated.

5. People who think charcoal hands after drawing class is an "artsy aesthetic." Get tf out of here and wash your damn hands Sarah. You are acting like a child and getting fingerprints on the walls.

6. Skipping someone else’s song request on the AUX que. This is infuriating because it's always in one of two circumstances: A) I listened to your music regardless of my own personal preference, and it wasn't original you literally just made us all pretend to love hearing "Don't Stop Believing" for the trillionth time --OR-- B) you had no input and acted as if you had no genuine music taste when I asked you for songs to que--you don’t get to be picky now. Privileges revoked.

7. Leaving without at least trying to say goodbye and finding it iCoNiC. We all know you just want to think about people noticing your absence.

8. Mountain Dew—I’m sorry the battery acid aesthetic just isn’t for me. I don't understand consuming anything those colors willingly.

9. When people don’t spray febreeze after taking a shit. You’re a literal animal.

10. Pronouncing Coyote as “Kai-oat”. Who even raised you, and why didn't they put you into speech therapy?

11. Those tiny, single-use, tooth floss things. The disregard for wastefulness is unbelievable, and I actively wish for you to always end up burning whatever you cook for the rest of your life. It'll give you an insight on what you're doing to our planet.

12. Paper license plates from dealerships. Why do they only staple the top? It flaps around and rain fucks it up! I don’t like watching them flap!! What if they fly away because they're, idk, PAPER?!

13. People eating cereal in general. It’s just foul.

14. Leggings that aren't seamless in the crotch. Who looked at womens leggings, and said "yeah lets put a seam on these SKIN TIGHT PANTS right through the cooch it won't be a problem at all." Probably a man honestly but its 2022, why are we still having this struggle?! Seamless leggings or bust.

15. Journey as an artist. This will probably get me cancelled, but again this is MY pet peeve list not yours. I would rather sit naked on a HOT GRILL than listen to Journey songs. The same goes for most country music and Mr. Brightside. Dear god.

16. The tube on gas pumps. It always finds a way to be awkward when you try to move the spout from the holder to the car and back. I fumble that shit every single time and am so confused why they haven't made the rubber on the tube more flexible or thin? I can't have that thing slapping against my body anymore, there are GERMS.

17. People who talk to you when you have AirPods in, then have the AUDACITY to act annoyed when you ask them to repeat after you press pause. What do you think I have AirPods in for? Do you think I WANT to hear what's going on around me? Let's read the room babe.

18. Male photographers who only photograph women at the beach and call themselves "serious artists." No. Tell me more about how you lack any actual original ideas and rely on the continual objectification of women to get you views and followers. It genuinely makes me feel ill how much praise and success they get for it.

19. Cottage Cheese. Anything that gets compared to discharge should not be in anyone's routine meal plan.

20. Anyone who pronounces a Spanish word with an American (bonus points for southern) accent. I once had a conversation with a fully grown woman about how "Quesadilla" is a Spanish word and thus the letters are pronounced differently. Her argument was "well its in America so we pronounce it this way." I resisted the urge to swallow broken glass after that.

To be continued one day...


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